


we aren't what we used to be but let's be what we are

by grchampcwell



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bisexual Will Graham, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, First Kiss, Fluff, Hannibal Lecter Loves Will Graham, Hannibal Lecter in Love, M/M, Post-Fall (Hannibal), Pre-Relationship, Sad Hannibal Lecter, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Separation Anxiety, Slow Dancing, They are so in love, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Will Graham Loves Hannibal Lecter, Will Graham is a Mess, Will Graham is confused
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:01:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28422108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grchampcwell/pseuds/grchampcwell
Summary: post-fall hannibal and will headcanons i decided to write oneshots on
Relationships: Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	1. couldn't tell you what we even fight about

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter has mentions of anxiety so just a warning. 
> 
> tags will be updated with each oneshot.

**_Now we’re adversaries in a pretty house_ **

**_Couldn’t tell you what we even fight ‘bout_ **

**_That’s probably something we should figure out_ **

**_‘Cause I wanna be a ten out of ten for you_ **

**_Hit it out of the park_ **

**_And I wanna be an amen to ya_ **

**_When you’re falling apart_ **

**_And we’re not what we used to be_ **

**_But let’s be what we are, let’s be what we are_ **

All his life, Will had heard that every couple fought. He didn’t have any reason to believe this wasn’t true. Every couple fought was a statement that had been correct in all his previous relationships. Will remembered having fights with Molly before and after their marriage. Those fights were hard to work through because they were all about unavoidable issues in their relationship, but they did it. Before Molly though, Will’s previous significant others and him fought, even the ones that weren’t extremely serious. Those fights were usually over dumb things and more serious fights were avoided since Will would pick his side then would stubbornly refuse to change his mind and his partner’s eventually dreaded any fights with him. Fights in relationships were normal. So when him and Hannibal finally admitted their feelings rather than continuing to dance around them, he expected there to be fights. He knew they were both extremely headstrong and it would be a struggle to get through some fights but he was willing to try. 

Fighting with Hannibal was different than what he had expected though. He thought maybe Hannibal would try to overpower him or get violent during their fights but oftentimes, Hannibal was the one keeping the distance between them when they fought. Will was shocked when he was the one to initiate fights most times as well. Though it was n’t the most shocking thing as he did previously try to kill Hannibal multiple times. Will had fantasized about taking Hannibal’s life. His views on him had changed since then, the night they killed the Red Dragon together made him question his own morality. He enjoyed killing with Hannibal, he savored the sight of Hannibal covered in another man’s blood. When Will took them over the cliff, he was terrified of his enjoyment in the moment the pair had shared. He believed it was the only way to go. Bedelia’s words were ringing through his head, ‘Can’t live with him, can’t live without him’. Will had realized that she was wrong, he could live with Hannibal, he just had to allow himself to. Will was the one holding himself back from loving Hannibal. 

Loving Hannibal came with struggles though, many of them coming out during fights. Hannibal was always eerily calm and when Will got irritated with him, it didn’t help. Will would get more and more irked when Hannibal would keep his calm facade during their arguments. Will’s empathy usually told him that Hannibal was using the calm mask to disguise his exasperation. Will on the other had, would let his anger out. Eventually raising his voice, anger and frustration clear in his voice. Then it was just Will shouting at Hannibal in rage while Hannibal would reply like it was a normal conversation. Will normally would ultimately force himself away from Hannibal before he could begin to think about punching or stabbing his partner. It’s not like he wanted to hurt Hannibal, but sometimes if he was angry enough the thought would pop into his mind.

Today though, the fight had started off like normal. Hannibal or Will had done something that stepped out of line and the conversation went from pleasant to bitter within seconds. There was no yelling or any physical contact yet, but the mood had shifted from peaceful to one of tension and irritation. Hannibal was still leaning against the doorway of the master bathroom, though his crossed arms were no longer relaxed and he was tensed up. The calm demeanor was still being showcased, which of course irked Will even more. Will’s anger got the better of him and he moved closer to Hannibal in a threatening gesture. This made Hannibal straighten up and glare at Will. He knew they were both capable of initiating violence but Hannibal had a slight advantage over Will. Hannibal had more experience with overpowering someone since he had been hunting and killing people since he was a young man in college. Hannibal was also a bit stronger than Will. Overpowering Will wouldn’t be easy since they were pretty similar in size but Will did have a smaller frame and if Hannibal really wanted to he could win in a physical altercation between them. 

Will moved closer to Hannibal, a challenging tone lacing his voice as he spoke. Apparently today he was pissed enough that he wanted to challenge Hannibal. The tone of Will’s voice is what really set Hannibal off. Once the words had left Will’s mouth, Hannibal was pinning Will against the wall. Holding Will’s wrists in his grip that was likely going to bruise them from how harsh and tight it was. Will struggled to get his wrists free as it was constricting and painful. 

“Hannibal fucking let me go,” Will growled angerly. He knew there was going to be hand prints bruising his wrists and he’d need to cover them for the next few days. 

“Maybe next time you’ll think before challenging me,” Hannibal said, his voice no longer calm and collected but laced with rage. Will kept struggling against Hannibal’s grip, which only seemed to make Hannibal tighten it.

“Hannibal please, you’re hurting me,” Will said, trying to calm down so Hannibal would let him go. Hannibal’s grip loosens when he sees a small tear slip down Will’s face. Once the grip was loosened, Will removed his wrists from Hannibal’s grip and pushed him back. 

“Don’t ever do that again,” Will said as he walked towards their closet to get a sweater. His wrists were bright red and were already beginning to purple from where Hannibal had held them. Hannibal stood where Will’s push had left him, keeping distance between them. Will turned to face him once the sweater was on. Crossing his arms as he waited for a response. 

“You challenged me,” Hannibal simply replied. Will was too stubborn himself to admit that he had initiated the challenge and Hannibal was simply just responding. 

“You didn’t have to grab my wrists like that. There’s gonna be prominent bruises for a week,” 

“You got what you asked for,’ Hannibal said. He knew he was being unreasonable but he was too stubborn to admit to Will that he had overreacted. He didn’t mean to actually hurt Will, just to get him to step down from trying to pick a fight. 

“I got what I asked for. I sounded like I was challenging you so you decided to hurt me. Hannibal you’ve never done that shit before., I can’t be around you any longer since you can’t seem to stop blaming me,” Will said before walking downstairs. Hannibal, of course, followed him. Will pulled on shoes and his coat before grabbing his wallet and keys. 

“Where are you going Will?”

“Anywhere where I don’t have to see your face or be in your presence,” Will said as he walked outside. To add emphasis to his statement, he slammed the door behind him. He just needed to get away from Hannibal for a bit. It would allow them to calm down and then they could talk it out like civilized adults rather than trying to use violence or threats against each other. Will sighed and decided to go for a walk rather than take their car anywhere. Hannibal was possibly angry enough to go take it out on one of the few victims they had planned for future kills. Will knew he would need the car for that if he did. Will sighed and walked down to the stream that was nearby. Water calmed him and he hoped heading to the stream would help him become more relaxed

.

Hannibal was standing in their living room after Will had slammed their front door shut. He couldn’t remember what the fight had been about but he knew that he had overstepped. He regretted grabbing Will’s wrists the minute he saw a tear slip past the other man’s eyes. He didn’t want to hurt Will, that wasn’t a part of any of his intentions anymore. He didn’t want Will to be afraid of him. While Hannibal was incarcerated he had realized that everything he had done to hurt Will were the things he regretted. He regretted them because he hated losing Will. The night Hannibal had turned himself in, he realized that he was losing Will, that Will didn’t want him anymore. He took the opportunity of the FBI showing up to give himself to them so Will could always find him. Will said he didn’t want to look for him anymore so Hannibal would make his location well known. 

Now, Hannibal realized his biggest fear was losing Will again. When Will pulled them off the cliff, Hannibal was expecting they would die. Honestly he welcomed dying in Will’s arms. Though he wasn’t unhappy they had survived either. Now they could live their lives together, become new people. At first it was a struggle, Will was hesitant ti get close, to allow himself to let Hannibal in again. Healing was both mental and physical, while their wounds healed they tried to heal their relationship. They did have a lot to work through. Hannibal had manipulated Will then had physically harmed him multiple times. Hannibal had to help Will realize that he actually loved him and that he wasn’t just using it as a form of manipulation to get Will to stay with him as they escaped. 

When they had settled in their new home, Will had separated himself from Hannibal, staying in the guest room for hours on end. Will avoided any touches that weren’t helping each other clean and bandage their wounds. It took almost two weeks for Will to begin to trust Hannibal and spend more time with him. Soon casual touches became a normal thing between them as well. Hannibal would place a hand on his shoulder as he walked by. They would casually grab the other’s arm or hand while out in public. One night, Hannibal had awoken to find Will crawling into his bed after he had woken from a nightmare. That was the first night they slept holding each other. Soon it just became their normal. Soon after that night, Will finally decided to make the first move and kissed Hannibal as they cooked dinner together. After that night the casual touches became one’s that were more intimate. They would cuddle on their couch as they read separate books or watched something on their television. Will would kiss Hannibal’s cheek when he would pass by him.

Now Hannibal sat alone in their living room, tears threatening to slip past his eyes as he thought about the simple little touches or kisses he would miss if Will left him. Hannibal had become so used to having Will around, he had begun to use Will as his way of grounding himself. Some nights he would wake up after a nightmare believing he was back in his cell but reaching out to find Will or having Will’s arms around him helped him calm down and ground himself. Having Will with him helped him realize that he wasn’t still living in his mind palace that he and Will had moved to a little area outside France together after surviving their fall from the cliff. They had killed the Red Dragon together, it wasn’t all just some dream. 

Hannibal could feel the anxiety of being alone in their house and the thought of Will leaving him creeping up as he sat there. Now instead of his anger being directed at Will, it was directed at himself. He was enraged by his own response to Will using a challenging tone. He didn’t want to hurt Will. He hadn’t even realized he had reacted to Will’s challenging tone until Will was telling him to let him go. He should have let Will go then, he shouldn’t have tightened his grip to prove a point. Why did he have to be so stubborn when it came to fighting with Will? Why did he do things that pushed Will away? Hannibal tried to calm himself down, since the fear seemed to only encircle him the longer he sat there. What would he do without Will? Would Will go back to his old life, giving Hannibal up to the police in exchange for immunity. He knew Will could easily just tell the police that Hannibal had been holding him against his will and that he was eventually able to escape. Maybe Will would leave and go make a new life for himself. Hannibal couldn’t seem to pull himself from the idea of Will leaving him after that fight. They hadn’t gotten physical in a fight yet what if that ended up being the last straw for Will. 

Hannibal feared losing Will because he wouldn’t have anything worth being free for. His mind palace would be all he had left and he had spent enough time there when he was incarcerated. If he lost Will he’d have to retreat back to his mind palace. Losing Will also meant losing the only person that meant anything to him. Hannibal was madly in love with Will, thinking that Will didn’t trust him not to hurt him was painful enough as it was. Thinking that Will had reached his limit and never wanted to see Hannibal again was agony to Hannibal. All he could think about was the night he had turned himself in. He remembered carrying Will home after he had killed Cordell. He remembered helping Will into warm clothes, tending to any wounds he had and then tucking him into bed before washing up and tending to his own wounds. The part of that memory Hannibal wishes he could block out was the conversation they had had once Will had woken. 

_ “I miss my dogs. I’m not going to miss you. I’m not going to find you. I’m not going to look for you. I don’t want to know where you are or what you do. I don’t want to think about you anymore”  _

Will’s words from the past echoed clearly through his head. It felt like he was sat in that chair waiting for the rejection to come. He remembered how his heart had stopped as Will had spoken. Hannibal had never admitted it, he had barely realized up until that moment, but his biggest fear was rejection and Will rejecting him hurt more than he had ever expected. He remembers that once the words had left Will’s beautiful lips, he felt like his whole world was crumbling. He felt unsteady. His heart was being torn to pieces then chewed up only for it to be spitten out and stomped into the ground. He knew Will could feel Hannibal’s emotions that night, he remembered how Will avoided eye contact. Will usually was capable of holding eye contact with Hannibal unless he didn’t want to empathize or at least try to empathize with him. He avoided Hannibal’s eyes to stop himself from regretting the choice he was making. 

_ “I don't want to think about you anymore,”  _

The words rang through his head as he felt tears slip past his eyes. What if Will was waiting to come home to repeat those words? Hannibal rarely cried, he rarely felt emotion strong enough to cry. He had mostly cried in the past when he wanted people to feel sympathy or believe he was an innocent bystander. He was a good actor when it came to emotions. Since they had survived falling off the cliff, Hannibal had broken down his walls more and he let Will see his true emotions. He also let himself express his emotions much more. So here he was curled up on their couch, tears slipping down his face as he thought about losing Will. He needed a distraction. 

Hannibal stood from their couch and walked towards their kitchen. He was slightly shaky so he had to move slowly. Maybe he could cook a meal and have an apology meal done for Will when he returned. That’s if he returned. His fear that he would push Will to the point of leaving him became very present within his thoughts. Soon it would be the only thing he could think about if he couldn’t pull himself out of his anxiety. His tears were blurring his vision, so cooking was out of the picture. He poured himself a glass of wine slowly, hoping he didn’t spill any. He’d have to check later. He downed his wine before pouring himself another glass, maybe he could distract himself by getting tipsy. Maybe he could numb the pain at least a little bit.

Hannibal ended up drinking two more glasses before realizing it wasn’t helping. He stumbled his way back to their living room, probably in a worse state of anxiety than he was before. How long had Will been gone? Was it long enough that he shouldn’t even consider the possibility of Will coming back at all. The tears had stopped for a bit, but now they were back and full force. Hannibal brought his knees up to his chest and sobbed into them. This isn’t what he wanted. He just wanted to be held by Will at that moment. 

_ “I miss my dogs. I’m not going to miss you” _

Will’s voice sounded like it was right there in front of him. 

_ “I don’t want to think about you anymore”  _

He was going to end up alone once again. He would have to learn to live without Will. He had survived those years in Bailtmore State Hospital without Will. That was only cause he knew Will would eventually come back for him. 

_ “You delight, I tolerate. I don’t have your appetite…. Goodbye, Hannibal” _

He could imagine Will walking through their front doors, only to reject Hannibal again, to tell him that he’s leaving as he can’t stand being around Hannibal anymore. Hannibal’s sobs only got more powerful, he was shaking as he cried into his knees. He regretted even fighting with Will, maybe if he wasn’t so stubborn he could be sitting with Will in their living room, reading to him or just cuddled up to him. 

Hannibal sat there on their couch, sobbing for what felt like hours and since he was too lost in his head, it honestly could’ve been hours. He may have been a psychiatrist in his past life but he was terrible at pulling himself out of his own anxiety attack. 

.

Will walked along the stream for a bit. The sound of rushing water calming him. He had left his phone at the house and didn’t want to head back just yet so he headed for the town. He’d probably buy himself a drink and think about what he was going to to say to Hannibal once he got home. 

Will walked into the local pub and ordered two fingers of whiskey. Once he had his drink, he sat at a table in the corner. Watching the other patrons talking and laughing. God he wished he was at home with Hannibal. He wasn’t happy with the other man but it would be so nice to hear his laugh at that moment. The reason for the fight with Hannibal had been long forgotten, he just wanted to spend the night laying on their couch, listening to Hannibal read to him. It would calm him much more than being in this pub would. 

Will knew his situation at home wasn’t normal. He was technically a fugitive on the run from the american authorities. He lived with and was in love with a man most people would consider a monster. Shit he had even referred to Hannibal as a monster. He knew that living with a cannibalistic serial killer wasn’t going to be all rainbows and sunshine, shit living with anyone wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. Will had to be realistic, they both had habits of lashing out, they may hurt each other in fits of rage when it was completely the opposite of their intentions. 

Will sighed and finished his whiskey before asking for his tab. He needed to go home to Hannibal. They could talk like adults about their problems, they could talk without fighting. Will just wanted to be with him in that moment. Hannibal may irritate him and make him wanna scream sometimes, but he risked everything for him. His love for Hannibal made him willing to overcome any of their problems. 

Will paid then began his walk home. Since they lived far enough from town, it was an extremely long walk and it was getting later and later. He regretted not making sure that he had his phone on him before leaving because now he couldn’t call Hannibal to ask for a ride home or at least tell him that he was still alive and on his way home. Will walked as quickly as he could because he wanted to get home as soon as he possibly could. 

. 

Hannibal was laying on the couch now. He had stopped crying but his face was streaked with dry tear stains. He still was lost in his own thoughts and now was extremely worried that Will really wasn’t coming home. Hannibal was aware that he had originally overreacted to Will leaving due to his anxiety about losing him. But now he was thinking that his anxiety may have been right. Hannibal reached for his phone to check the time, he hoped that less time had passed than he thought. He grabbed his phone and noticed he was still shaking. Checking the time, he realized that he had been laid on the couch for hours, meaning Will had been gone for way longer. 

Hannibal sat up slowly and sighed as he ran his hand over his face. He already missed Will and it had only been a few hours. Could he handle if Will actually left him? How long would he wait before becoming the chaser? He knew Will was used to being the one to follow Hannibal, the one to come back to Hannibal but if Hannibal had pushed him to the point of leaving, it had to be more permanent. The first time Will had rejected Hannibal, he tried to stay away. Hannibal remembers how during his trail Will avoided even looking at Hannibal. He remembers that the one time their eyes met, Will’s eyes were empty since he had immediately disassociated from his own feelings. Hannibal knew that Will was capable of leaving him and staying away. 

Will could easily move on from him, even if he didn’t go back to his old life. Will was a handsome man who could easily find another man or woman that he could spend the rest of his life with. Hannibal had seen Will shift himself to fit in with a crowd. He had learned how Will hid the dark parts of himself from most people’s eyes. No one would even second guess that Will wasn’t a good man. Will had practice playing a good man even after everything Hannibal had put him through, even after killing people. Hannibal knew that Will could easily lead a happy life after leaving him and he knew Will probably knew that as well. 

Hannibal felt some tears leave his eyes again. He shouldn’t have let Will leave. Maybe he should go look for him? Maybe he could find Will and convince him not to leave? Where would he even begin to look? Will took his wallet before he left, he could have gotten a train or plane ticket and already be anywhere else but where they live. He just wanted Will to come home. 

.

It was now dark and thankfully Will was almost home. If Hannibal had calmed down, he was probably extremely worried about him. He was tired from walking for so long and just hoped Hannibal would be willing to cuddle on their couch. They could spend the rest of the night together and relax then in the morning they could talk about the fight and why Will felt the need to leave the house. 

He finally made it to their front door and was relieved to be home. He unlocked the door and walked in. He didn't smell any food cooking which was odd since it was late enough that Hannibal would’ve started to cook even if Will wasn’t home. He also didn’t hear any noise as he hung his coat up on the coat hanger. The car was still upfront so Hannibal had to be home. 

Will walked into the living room where he found Hannibal laying on their couch. At first, Will thought Hannibal was asleep until he noticed that the other man was shaking slightly. He immediately walked over to Hannibal and touched his shoulder. Hannibal jumped at the touch since he had been completely zoned out. Will could see the blank look on Hannibal’s face and his tear stained cheeks once Hannibal had looked at him. 

“Hannibal, darling whats wrong?” Will asked, gently cupping Hannibal’s face and running his thumb over his cheek. Hannibal seemed to actually realize that Will was in front of him. Hannibal moved to sit up and pulled Will into his arms. Will wrapped his arms around him, holding him tightly. 

“Please don’t leave me,” Hannibal mumbled into Will’s neck. 

“Baby I’m not going to leave you,” Will said quietly, kissing the top of Hannibal’s head and running his hand through Hannibal’s hair. 

“I can’t lose you,” Hannibal whispered. 

“You’re not going to lose me, I love you so much Hannibal, you’re stuck with me for the rest of our lives,” Will said as he pulled back slightly so they could look at each other. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have hurt you,”

“It’s okay,” 

“I didn’t even realize what I was doing or how hard I was gripping your wrist,” Hannibal said as he grabbed Will’s arm and pushing his sleeve up. Hannibal kissed the forming bruises on Will’s wrist. Will gave him a small smile. 

“I know. I realized that as I was gone. We both underestimate each other’s strength sometimes. You crossed a line but I did tempt you to cross it,” 

“Don’t blame yourself, I’m the one who messed up,” 

“I can’t be mad at you for responding to a challenge. We both forget that we both respond differently to challenging tones than most people would,” Will said quietly. Hannibal nodded and pulled Will up onto the couch. 

“Where did you go?” Hannibal asked as he buried his face in Will’s neck again. Most likely trying to see if he could smell Will’s adventures on him. Will moved so he was sitting in a more comfortable position. 

“I walked along the stream then headed into town and had some whiskey before I realized that I missed you. I can smell wine and your face is covered in dried tears, are you okay?” Will asked as he laid back on the couch, pulling Hannibal with him. 

“I was worried you would leave me, drank a bit too much wine which didn’t help calm me,” Hannibal mumbled and pressed a kiss right below Will’s ear. 

“I’m never going to leave you. I should’ve have been more clear and told you that I just needed some space and was going for a walk so I could calm down,” 

“Should we talk about the fight?” Hannibal said as he looked up at Will. Will shook his head and chuckled softly. 

“Honestly, I can’t remember why we were even fighting,” He said. Hannibal chuckled and pressed a kiss to the edge of Will’s lips. 

“I forgot too, though that’s probably due to anxiety about you leaving,” Hannibal said quietly. Will lifted his head to press their lips together. Hannibal tangled his hand in Will’s curls as they kissed. The kiss was brief since they were both exhausted and just wanted to lay together in that moment. Will held Hannibal tightly against his chest. 

“What about me leaving scared you?” Will asked after a few minutes of silence between them. Hannibal sighed softly against his shoulder. 

“I’m afraid that one day you’ll decided that you’ll be better off without me and that we’ll have a repeat of the night I turned myself in,” 

“You’re afraid I’ll reject you again,” 

“Sort of. More that I’ll lose you again especially because I’ve gotten far more attached to having you around,” 

“Well, I don’t want anyone else but you. I’m not going to leave you, never again,” Will said and Hannibal kissed his jawline gently. 

“I’m still sorry I hurt you. There are already bruises on your wrists,” Hannibal mumbled, pulling one of Will’s hands up to his lips. He kissed Will’s knuckles and then interlaced their fingers. 

“I forgive you. Some bruises that you didn’t mean to create aren’t enough to get rid of me,” Will said, rubbing Hannibal’s hand with his thumb. Hannibal chuckled softly and shook his head. 

“I guess I have done worse to you and you’re still here,” Hannibal said.

“We have a fucked up past but we’re not the same people we were then,” Will said quietly as he looked at their ceiling. 

“We have been through so much together. We cannot deny our past and pretend it didn’t happen but we can be the people we are now,” Will smiled as Hannibal spoke. 

“No matter what though, we’ll always have each other,” Will said. 

Sure the pair had their issues and their past was full of manipulation, lies and murder but here the were now, in a nice house and madly in love with each other. Will knew fights were inevitable but they were trying to be perfect for each other. If perfect didn’t exist, they could always try to make it exist. Will knew they were different people than they were when they arrived at the house on the cliff, they changed as each event happened throughout their past, but he didn’t care, he just wanted to live his life with Hannibal. He was happy in his new life and he didn’t think anything could change that. 


	2. under the kitchen lights, you still look like dynamite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hannibal and will just slow dancing/swaying to music in their kitchen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> most of the chapter isnt even the slow dancing im so bad at writing

**_Young ambition_ **

**_Say we’ll go slow but we never do_ **

**_Premonition_ **

**_See me spendin’ every night with you_ **

**_Under the kitchen lights_ **

**_You still look like dynamite_ **

**_And I wanna end up on you_ **

**_Don’t need no place to go_ **

**_Just put on the radio_ **

**_You know what I wanna do_ **

**_We can just dance to this_ **

Will woke up with Hannibal’s back pressed against his chest. Will smiled and pulled Hannibal closer. Hannibal stirred and turned his head slightly to look at him. Will kissed his cheek and Hannibal turned to kiss him. Will lazily ran his hand through Hannibal’s hair. When they pulled apart, Hannibal smiled at him and cupped his cheek, Will flinched slightly before leaning into the touch. He hoped Hannibal hadn’t noticed the flinching but he knew if had he would understand why Will did it. He still reacted by flinching due to expecting a knife in his abdomen and he still wasn’t used to his cheek scar being touched. 

“Good morning my love” Hannibal said, If he had noticed he wasn’t going to mention it. Will was thankful for Hannibal ignoring it because he didn’t really feel like explaining to Hannibal why he was still flinching at simple touches. Hannibal had found out about Will shying away from his touch early on into their life after falling off a cliff and he had figured out that he was the cause of that. Will pulled himself from his thoughts and gave him a small smile.

“Good morning,” Will replied quietly. Hannibal began to play with Will’s hair, causing Will to close his eyes and lean into the touch. Hannibal leaned over and kissed his forehead. Will moved and buried his head in Hannibal’s chest, just letting Hannibal hold him for a bit. They were content to just lay cuddled together in their bed. 

Eventually they left their bed and headed downstairs to make breakfast. They had a pretty late start to their day due to cuddling for a long time. Hannibal cooked a simple breakfast as Will let their dog out. Will walked back into the kitchen once the dog was back in the house. Hannibal finished cooking their breakfast and plated it before noticing Will was back in the room. They ate in a comfortable silence before going off to do their own things in the house. 

A few hours later, Will sat reading on the couch as Hannibal was upstairs in the shower. Their ginger tabby cat, Mrs. Whiskerson, was curled up next to him. Will was lazily petting the cat as he was reading. A couple of minutes later, Hannibal came downstairs dressed in jeans and a sweater. It was nice to see Hannibal in more relaxed outfits instead of a three piece suit. He much preferred seeing Hannibal in more casual clothes, he didn’t look as stuck up and when together they looked more compatible since they were both dressed casually then. Will looked up as Hannibal walked over to him. 

“Are you going out?” Will asked, bookmarking his place in his book before putting it down besides him. 

“I'm gonna head to the market, we need some groceries,” Hannibal says as he stopped in front of Will. 

Hannibal pecked Will’s lips before walking towards the door and pulling on his coat. Will turned where he sat so he could look at Hannibal. His hair had grown longer and he had a few strands falling in his face. The brown in Hannibal’s hair had lightened and now he had silver streaks mixed in with blonde hair. He looked like a different man than the one that had been held in Baltimore State Hospital. He looked more soft and relaxed. He almost seemed like a completely different man. Hannibal raised his eyebrows when he noticed Will staring at him. Will removed himself from his own thoughts, realizing that he was staring. 

“Is there something you’d like to say, my love?” Hannibal asked which caused Will to blush slightly and smile at him.

“Nothing, I was just thinking about how long your hair has gotten,” Will said honestly as he stood from their couch. Hannibal smiles at him in response. 

“Did you want to come to the market with me?” Hannibal asked as Will walked over. He placed his hands on Will’s hips when Will stopped in front of him. 

“If you would like me to, I wouldn’t mind joining you,” Will said, smiling at Hannibal as he wrapped his arms around his neck. 

“I would enjoy having your company,” Hannibal said happily before kissing Will’s cheek. 

“Let me get my coat and then we can go,” Will said, pulling away from Hannibal, who nodded. Will pulled on his shoes and his coat before grabbing their car keys from the bowl by the door. They headed out to the car hand in hand before separating to get in. They had only gotten the car to make shopping trips faster and easier. Hannibal drove while Will read through their grocery list. 

Once they were at the market, they walked through the aisle together. They had quiet conversations as they walked. A few people smiled at them. They looked like an ordinary couple to others. Will smiled and interlaced his fingers with Hannibal’s as they walked. Being open and with Hannibal was a nice feeling. Will was happy they could openly walk hand in hand, that they were able to be open about their feelings towards each other. Before they had gone over the cliff, they could barely admit their feelings to themselves so it was a nice change to be so open with Hannibal. 

The store wasn’t super busy thankfully. Though they were in a small town, the store was a small local one so it could be full on some days when more of the townspeople were out shopping. They walked hand in hand, separating to grab the things they needed. It wasn’t long before they had all their things and were at the cash register to pay. After paying they walked back out to their car and piled all their bags in the backseat. The drive home was quiet but they just enjoyed being in each other’s presence. 

When they got home, their dog, Cooper, greeted them by the door. Cooper was a brown boxer puppy that Will had found at the shelter after the first few months they lived in this house. Once Will got him to back up, they put all the groceries away before Hannibal started looking through his recipe book for what they’d make for their dinner that day. Will made them simple sandwiches for lunch. Once he finished the sandwiches, he wrapped his arms around Hannibal’s waist from behind. He kissed Hannibal’s shoulder and buried his face into his neck. Hannibal grabbed one of Will’s hands that was placed on his stomach. 

“Hello love,” Hannibal said, his voice was soft and caring. Will kissed his neck gently and breathed in Hannibal’s scent. 

“Hey,” Will whispered against Hannibal’s neck. 

“You’re in a good mood today,” Hannibal said as Will lifted his head slightly. 

“Mmm I’m just happy to be with you,” Will said, Hannibal turned to face him causing Will to lift his head from Hannibal’s shoulder. When Hannibal was facing him, Will laid his head back onto Hannibal's shoulder. He hugged him tightly as they stood in their kitchen. Hannibal kissed the top of his head. 

“Sorry, I’ve just been thinking about how our relationship came to be and how much time I spent pushing myself away,” Will mumbled into Hannibal’s shoulder after a few moments of silence. Hannibal rubbed Will’s back. 

“You don’t have to apologize for that Will. You were unsure of your feelings then,” 

“We could’ve avoided a lot of pain if I had just admitted my feelings to myself,” Will mumbled. 

Hannibal brought a hand up to Will’s chin and pulled it up so they were making eye contact. Hannibal thought back to the first time they had met. He remembered how Will did everything to avoid looking in Hannibal’s eyes. He also remembered how he had been instantly interested in Will. Now, Will made eye contact with Hannibal and didn’t try to immediately break it. Will smiled up at him. Hannibal leaned down to press their lips together. Will wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him closer. Will tangled a hand in Hannibal’s hair gently as Hannibal pulls back from the kiss. Will laid his head on Hannibal’s chest.

“Darling, we should probably eat,” Hannibal said looking down at Will. He sighed and slowly pulled away from Hannibal. 

“Yea, I’m actually hungry so we should,” Will said, chuckling softly. He grabbed the plates that had the sandwiches on them and handed one to Hannibal. They headed to the island counter in their kitchen and sat besides each other. They ate their sandwiches in a comfortable silence. When Hannibal finished his food he kissed Will’s cheek before taking his plate into the kitchen and going back to the recipe book. Will watched him from his seat before taking his plate into the kitchen and washing their dishes. Hannibal picked a recipe for dinner and bookmarked the page. Will dried and put the dishes up before turning to him. 

“What are your plans for the rest of the day?” Will asked as he leaned against the counter. 

“I was planning to sketch until we made dinner, but if you have anything you’d like to do together then my plans can be changed,” 

“I might go for a walk by the stream with Cooper,” 

“We can head down to the stream together, I can sketch as we let Cooper run around.” Hannibal suggested and Will smiled. 

“That’d be nice,” Will said before calling Cooper from where he had run off to when they had gone into the kitchen. Cooper came running and Will bent down to pet him. Hannibal went to get his sketchbook and pencils so he could sketch. He also grabbed a blanket so they could sit by the stream and not get covered in grass and dirt. Will had gathered some of Cooper’s toys before putting him on the leash. 

The pair headed to the stream by their house. Will played with Cooper as Hannibal sketched scenery around them. At one point, Will came to sit with Hannibal, watching him sketch. They had a peaceful day, leaning against each other on the blanket. After a while, Cooper had gotten pretty tired so they decided to head back. 

Once home, Will went to take a quick shower. Hannibal got out the ingredients for their dinner. About twenty minutes later, Will walked into the kitchen and kissed his cheek as he passed by. Will read the recipe that Hannibal had bookmarked for their dinner. He then grabbed the vegetables that Hannibal had already washed. Will chopped the vegetables as Hannibal prepped the meat. 

When Hannibal finished preparing the meat, he washed his hands before turning on the radio in the next room. It was normal for them to have music playing in the background as they cooked together. Will smiled at him when he walked back into the room. Hannibal put the meat and vegetables into the oven as Will washed the dishes they had used. He leaned against the island counter. 

“Love come here,” Hannibal said, causing Will to turn around. He walked over to Hannibal who wrapped his arms around his waist. Will leaned against him and Hannibal hummed along to the music that was playing in the background. 

“You look so beautiful,” Hannibal said running hand through Will’s unruly curls. They had grown past the length they had been when Will was in BSHCi and Hannibal really enjoyed touching Will’s hair. Any chance he could, he would play with Will’s hair. Will blushed slightly, still not used to getting constant compliments from Hannibal. 

“So do you,” Will whispered and pecked his lips. Hannibal smiled against his lips and pressed their foreheads together once the kiss ended. Will wrapped his arms around Hannibal’s neck, his fingers playing with the hair at the back of Hannibal’s neck. 

“Dance with me,” Hannibal whispered as he pulled back so could kiss the top of his head. Will pulled back slightly and looked up at him. 

“Hannibal, I’ll step on your feet,” Will said quietly. He had never really learned how to slow dance. 

“We don’t have to actually dance, we can just sway to the music. I’d just like to dance with you,” 

“Fine, we can sway to the music, but maybe one day you can teach me how to dance?” 

“I’ll teach you one day,” Hannibal said and moved away from the counter he was leaning against, pulling Will with him. He slowly started to sway with Will, holding him in his arms. Hannibal was just content to hold Will in his arms as they swayed to the music. Will rested his head against Hannibal’s chest, the way he had before he had pulled them over the cliff. Hannibal pressed a kiss to the top of his head as they slowly swayed to the music. The soft jazz music surrounded them but all they could think about was being in each other’s arms.

A few minutes passed as the pair slowly swayed to the music. Will pulled his head off Hannibal's chest to look up at him. Hannibal’s eyes were closed and he was humming along to the music. Will couldn’t help but smile. Hannibal looked at peace and was full of happiness. Moments like these were the ones Will would savor for the rest of his life. 

They swayed to the music in their kitchen until the oven beeped and they had to separate. They were both smiling when they separated. The chance to just hold onto each other and relax in each other’s arms was always nice. 

.

A few nights had gone by before the next time they ended up swaying in their kitchen. Hannibal once again was the one to ask Will to dance with him. Will was just washing dishes when Hannibal had finished the preparations for their dinner and wrapped his arms around Will from behind. Will leaned back against his chest. 

“Hey darling,” Will said and turned his head slightly to try and look at him. 

“Hello love, would you like to dance with me?” Hannibal asked, moving his head to press a kiss to Will’s neck. Will pulled away, only to turn and face Hannibal. 

“You still need to teach me to dance,” Will joked and wrapped his arms around Hannibal’s neck. Hannibal slowly began to sway with Will, who buried his face into Hannibal’s shoulder. They stayed like that until dinner was ready and they had to separate so food wouldn’t burn. 

.

As time went by, they would spend more nights just swaying in their kitchen as they waited for dinner to cook. Content to just hold onto each other and let the rest of the world melt away for a short period of time. It was their happy place, a way to relax and ignore any stresses from the day. A way to just spend some quiet time together. Some nights Hannibal would whisper sweet nothings to Will as they swayed to soft jazz or classical music that played from the speakers in their living room. Some nights they would both close their eyes and relax into each others arms, letting the music lead their swaying. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title is lyrics from dance to this by troye suvan


	3. in time, time, time we'll build a home for two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> will pushes hannibal away after the fall and hannibal can't take it anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is before all the other oneshots sorry i wrote them out of order

**_An ode to the boy I love_ **

**_Boy, I’ll die to care for you_ **

**_You’re mine, mine, mine, tell me who do I owe that to_ **

**_And as the days fly by_ **

**_We’ll be more than getting through_ **

**_In time, time, time we’ll build a home for two_ **

**_I want you all to myself_ **

**_Don’t leave none for nobody else_ **

**_I am an animal with you_ **

**_No angels could beckon me back_ **

**_It’s hotter than hell where I’m at_ **

**_I am an animal with you_ **

They were standing on the edge of the cliff in each other's arms, then they were falling. Falling towards the icy ocean. That's the last time he had held the man he loved in his arms. Then they hit the water. He lost his grip on Will. He couldn’t remember much more after that. The next thing he remembered was waking up in the sand with Will at his side. He was out of it, but he could see the worried look on Will’s face as he tried to stop the bleeding from Hannibal’s abdomen. Hannibal remembers reaching up and touching Will’s bleeding cheek. Hannibal was pretty sure they were going to die together in the sand. They were both bleeding heavily and in a lot of pain. They had found somewhere to hide and wait out until they were strong enough to travel. Will had been caring and sweet then, never really leaving Hannibal’s side.

After a few days, Chiyoh met them with a boat so they could get out of the United States. They both were still healing but they weren’t extremely weak from blood loss anymore so they could travel. Hannibal remembers most of their trip on the boat. It was quiet since they often slept while the other was awake. They really only interacted to tend to each other’s wounds. Will couldn’t speak much anyways due to the pain it caused due to his cheek wound. Hannibal was hopeful for when they settled into their home. He hoped they would be closer than they had ever been before. 

Finally they had gotten their destination after a few days in hotels and were able to settle into their new home. Hannibal was thankful to be back on land but things weren’t going well between him and Will. While staying in the hotel rooms, Will seemed to be distancing himself and Hannibal figured it was just due to not being used to his surroundings. But, things only seemed to get worse once they settled into their new home. It wasn’t what Hannibal had been expecting. 

.

The cliff was the last time they really had been close. Hannibal had begun to think it was all just some dream with the way Will was acting now. The Will that had held onto him before pulling them off the cliff was extremely different from the Will he was currently living with. He thought at least they would still be friends, not acting like they were strangers, They rarely even interacted now that they were in their new home. It had been a week and Hannibal could count the times he had seen Will on one hand. He knew he had manipulated and hurt Will in the past but he had stopped and wasn’t going to try to again. He didn’t want to hurt Will, not anymore. Hannibal sighed as he looked around the empty room. He hoped this would pass, he had already gone three years without the other man. He didn’t want to lose the man he loved, not again. 

The silence was worse than any fighting could be. Will had been calm and collected the last time he had rejected Hannibal. Maybe that’s what this was leading up to. Hannibal didn’t even want to consider the thought that Will would tell him he never wanted to see him again. Hannibal didn’t think he could survive those words leaving Will’s lips a second time. 

Hannibal was beginning to question why Will had even come with him. Will could’ve gone back to his normal life. Will had a wife and child, he could easily go back to them and pretend everything is okay. He could’ve left Hannibal to die instead of pulling him onto the beach. Hannibal swore he had seen worry and love in Will’s eyes then but now Will just seemed distant and empty. Was Will regretting his choices from that night? Was he regretting letting Hannibal in? Hannibal couldn’t answer those questions but he could assume based on how Will was acting that Will was regretting his choices.

Hannibal pulled himself from his thoughts and got up. He could try to talk to Will but it probably wouldn’t lead to anywhere. Everytime he had tried before, Will would just leave the room then lock himself up in his room until he thought Hannibal was asleep. Hannibal walked to their kitchen, to find Will getting a glass of water. Will jumped when he turned to see Hannibal since he wasn’t expecting to see him. 

“Sorry,” Hannibal said, walking past Wil, who tensed up when Hannibal got close to him. Hannibal felt his heart break slightly, he didn’t understand why Will couldn’t even be around him. The air in the room felt strained and it was suffocating. Hannibal tried to ignore it but it felt as if he was being choked by the tense air surrounding them. Will quickly left the room before Hannibal could say anything else. Hannibal leaned his head against their fridge and sighed. He hated how things were going and he was too afraid of losing Will to push Will to open up to him. Hannibal eventually pulled himself back together before starting dinner, maybe he’d try to talk to Will later that night. 

Later that night, Hannibal knocked on Will’s door to let him know dinner was ready. He tried to get Will to interact with him, at least for a few seconds. He hated not seeing him for the whole day some days. He was hoping he could try and talk to Will. Will opened his bedroom door, looking exhausted and like he had been crying. The sight nearly broke Hannibal’s heart. He just wanted to pull him into his arms and tell him everything would be okay but he knew Will wouldn’t react well to it. 

“Dinner’s ready, if you’re hungry,” Hannibal said before walking away. He heard Will close the door behind him. Of course he was going to wait to eat so he didn’t have to be around Hannibal. Another night, he would be spending alone as he ate. Hannibal sighed and headed back to the kitchen. He poured himself a glass of wine as he ate his dinner. He just wanted their friendship back. Hannibal grabbed the wine bottle and brought it into the study with him once he finished his food. He drank another glass of wine while he sat in front of the fireplace. 

He just wanted to be able to talk to Will again. He missed having Will in the same room as him and not feel like he was suffocating. They used to be able to sit in a room with comfortable silence but now the air felt strained when they were in a room together. Will could barely even look at him now, it reminded him of the night he turned himself in. Will had avoided looking at him and now Will was giving him the same treatment. He needed to talk to Will. He needed to know if he was losing the man he loved. 

God Hannibal was so hopelessly in love with Will. Everytime Will avoided his eyes, Hannibal felt his heart breaking a little bit at a time. Will was slowly breaking Hannibal into pieces and Hannibal was just being a willing participant. He would let Will kill him. Shit he already had allowed Will to pull them off that cliff. He just let himself fall, happy to die in Will’s arms, and technically by Will’s hands. He didn’t want to be in control of Will anymore, he didn’t want to see a reflection of his own love shining back at him. He wanted for Will to be in love with him but not because he was manipulating Will to feel that way. He figured Will definitely didn;t feel the same based on how all of their recent encounters had gone. Now that Hannibal’s manipulation was gone, Will probably hated him.He probably was wishing he had left Hannibal for dead on that beach. 

Hannibal sighed and looked down. He had finished the whole bottle while he was lost in his thoughts. He should just try to go to sleep and talk to Will another day. Hannibal stood and walked out to their kitchen to put the glass up and throw out the bottle. Will was eating his food at the kitchen counter. He tensed up when he saw Hannibal, moving out of the relaxed position he was in. Will immediately looked down at his plate. Hannibal couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t want to fight but he needed to know why Will couldn’t even look at him anymore. 

“Why did you even bother running away with me when you can’t even look at me?” Hannibal blurted out. He couldn’t keep acting like the way Will was acting didn’t hurt. Will sighed quietly, still avoiding looking at Hannibal. 

“Because there was no other option,” Will said quietly. Hannibal didn’t know that Will instantly regretted the words that left his mouth. Hannibal just felt hurt by Will’s word and he didn’t 

“There was no other option? You easily could have left me to die and gone home to your wife and kid. Jack would’ve let you off for killing Dolarhyde,” Hannibal said, his voice sounding shaky as it left his lips. “For killing me,” Hannibal added, if Will did go back to his family and the FBI, he wouldn’t have let Hannibal live. Will finally looked up at him. His eyes wide and exhausted. 

“I couldn’t let you die. Even if I did I couldn’t have lived my life like it was normal. I couldn’t” Will whispered. Will looked shocked with his own words and immediately looked away from Hannibal.

“Why not? You can’t even be in the same room as me?” 

“Can’t live with you, can’t live without you,” Will mumbled, Hannibal was unaware he was repeating the words Bedelia had spoken to him before. Hannibal barely heard him but he made out what Will had said. Hannibal shook his head. 

“If you can’t even look at me, I’m sure you could live without me,” Hannibal said as he felt a tear slip down his cheek. Hannibal looked away from Will, he didn’t need to see him cry. 

“Hannibal, please I just need time to adjust,” Will said, standing up from where he sat.

“Time? Will, you had the choice to come with me or go back to your life. You’re showing that you could live without me since being in the same room as me makes you uncomfortable,” Hannibal said quietly, holding back tears.

“Stop you’re being ridiculous,” Will exclaimed, “I didn’t leave you to die on that beach because I couldn’t have left you,” he added as he walked towards him. He began to reach for Hannibal’s arm but Hannibal moved back.

“Really? Will just tell the truth instead of pretending you want to be here,” Hannibal said. 

“Hannibal… I’m not pre-” Will whispered a few seconds later but Hannibal cut him off. 

“Don’t bother,” Hannibal said before leaving the room. Will stayed put where Hannibal had left him, too afraid of his own feelings to go after Hannibal, to tell him the truth. Hannibal went back into his own room. He would just have to live with the fact that Will didn’t want him around. Hannibal let himself cry once he was in his own room. Him being slightly tipsy and the brief talk with Will was making him emotional. He needed some sleep. About an hour later, He curled up in his bed and fell asleep, unaware of Will quietly opening the door later that night to check on him. 

.

Will walked into the room silently and sat on the edge of Hannibal’s bed. He felt horrible for making Hannibal cry. He didn’t know why he was pushing Hannibal away. That was a lie, Will told himself. He had pulled Hannibal out of the water and helped save him from dying. He loved Hannibal. He knew that, he couldn’t keep denying it and pushing himself away. He sighed and gently ran a hand through Hannibal’s hair. 

“I’m sorry, I love you and I’m too afraid to admit it. That’s why I’m pushing you away” He whispered quietly before leaving the room and heading back to his own room. He would have to talk to Hannibal in the morning. He couldn’t keep pushing Hannibal away. 

Will sighed and walked into his room. He had been hiding in his room since they had arrived to avoid the truth. He thought of the day he had asked Bedelia if Hannibal was in love with him. Her answer had confirmed his suspicions but it also brought on the thought of if Will loved him back or not. 

_ “But do you ache for him?” _

The question echoed through his head and Will wanted to answer, but he was also afraid of what it meant. He did ache for Hannibal. He ached to hear his voice. He ached for the intimacy they had shared on the cliff. Will ached to be near him, to hold him. So maybe Will knew the answer to whether or not he loved Hannibal. He did love Hannibal, he was madly in love with the other man. 

Will was scared of the idea of loving Hannibal because the pair had been through so much. Hannibal had manipulated and used Will being ill against him. They didn’t have a healthy relationship and that’s what worried Will. He knew things were different now, it had been three years since they had last seen each other. Hannibal didn’t have as much power over Will’s mind as he did before. They weren’t the same people anymore. Will didn’t feel like Hannibal was using his own mind against him anymore. 

He wanted to allow himself to love Hannibal. He didn’t want to push him away. It would take time but he wanted to let himself fully fall in love with Hannibal. That’s why he decided to run away with him. Hannibal had been right when he mentioned that Will could have gone back to his old life. Will had options, he had chosen to save Hannibal because he was in love with him and he didn’t want to lose him. Will sighed and laid in his bed. He would talk to him in the morning. 

The next morning, Hannibal didn’t even get up to make them breakfast. Will was worried about him but he figured Hannibal didn’t want to be around him. Not after what happened the night before. He would give him a few days before trying to get him to talk to him. He knew it may be a struggle to try and talk to Hannibal especially since Hannibal may be pushing him away just as he had done. Will knew he deserved the silent treatment so he didn’t try to push Hannibal into talking. 

.

Hannibal spent most of his time in his room after him and Will had talked. His heart was broken enough as it is, he didn’t need to be more aware of Will pushing him. He spent a lot of the time in tears. He rarely let his emotions show and suddenly here he was crying over Will Graham. 

Will’s words echoed through his head. Had Will really only come with him because it seemed like Will’s only option at the time? That couldn’t be right, Will cared for his wife and stepson, he would have spent more time considering options. Maybe Will just regretted the choice he had made and now that it was too late he was lying to himself. 

If Will regretted his choices, Hannibal could let him leave. He wanted Will to be happy even if it meant losing the only person he had left. Losing the man he was head over heels in love with. Hannibal sighed, he wished he had never let Will in. He should’ve kept his walls up. Should’ve never let Will see him. He knew it was too dangerous but he had fallen for Will and he had let it cloud his judgement. 

The cliff. That fucking cliff. They had killed together then held each other. It was something so intimate. It seemed so far away now. The cliff was the cause of all of Hannibal’s problems. What if Will didn’t even feel anything for Hannibal? What if every word, every touch after they killed the dragon had been Will reflecting Hanibal back to him? What if Will never felt anything for him but hatred. Hannibal started to cry again as he got lost in his thoughts. 

His heart was breaking more and more as he thought of why Will was pushing him away. He didn’t understand how they had gone from the intimacy at the cliff to barely even looking at each other in less than two months. He missed Will’s arms around him. He missed the way his heart had skipped a beat when Will had held onto Hannibal. How beautiful Will had looked that night. How Will’s eyes had been full of love and appreciation. He missed the moment that had been shared between them. He wished he could go back, make sure things didn’t go south. 

.

It took a few days for them to end up being in the same room again. Will had walked into the study to find Hannibal sitting in a chair, reading a book. Hannibal looked exhausted and his eyes were slightly red. Had he been crying? Will questioned in his head when he saw Hannibal. Will gently touched Hannibal’s shoulder as he passed by him. Hannibal jumped at the touch and looked at him before placing his book down. 

“I was pushing you away, I admit that. I need time to stop myself from doing it but I’m going to try to not push you away anymore,” Will said and Hannibal sighed softly, nodding. 

“Take your time,” Hannibal mumbled before grabbing his glass of water and heading towards his study. Hannibal was still creating space between them since he was upset. Maybe Will should have waited a few more days. But he was worried that if he waited too long, Hannibal would begin to think that Will didn’t want him around. Will sighed and headed back to his room, he’d try another day. 

The next few days were spent, trying not to get in each other’s way. Hannibal was now the one avoiding Will. He didn’t even know why. Will had said he wanted to try not pushing Hannibal away and then Hannibal responded by pushing Will away. He knew they needed to talk about their issues and that it would happen eventually, and it did. About a week after Will admitting he wanted to fix him pushing Hannibal away, Will ended up cornering Hannibal in the study. 

Hannibal sat in a lounge chair in the study, reading one of the many books that he could’ve chosen from. He couldn’t really focus on the book before Will came into the room, but now that Will was there, the book was a lost cause. Hannibal put the book down and looked up at Will. 

“We need to talk,” Will said from the doorway, Hannibal raised his eyebrow at him. 

“Then talk,” Hannibal replied. He didn’t want to talk about it but he knew they needed to talk. 

“I’m sorry for pushing you away, Hannibal. I care about you and I think the realization of that scared me,” Will said and Hannibal sighed. Will was scared of his own feelings toward him. He remembered when Will had shown up at his office and resumed his therapy after his imprisonment. The version of Will that now stood in the room with him was a completely different man. Shit, Hannibal had changed since that day, because of Will. They had changed each other. 

“Will, I understand why you would push me away. I manipulated you, I hurt you physically and emotionally,” Hannibal admitted and Will gave him a small sad smile. They had been through so much together. They could get through this. 

“I don't want to push you away, not anymore. I’ve done that enough throughout the years we’ve known each other. Can we be friends again?” Will asked, walking over to him. Hannibal nodded and stood up from his chair. 

“Of course Will, all I want is for us to get along again,” Hannibal said and Will gave him a real smile. They were going to get through this. 

.

Things still weren’t perfect, Will still flinched at Hannibal touching him especially if it was close to any of his scars. One day, Hannibal had gone to push hair out of Will's face and Will flinched when Hannibal’s fingers grazed the scar on his forehead. They were still working through things but thankfully they could be in the same room without it feeling strained now. Currently they sat in a comfortable silence as they both read books. Will stood up and Hannibal looked at him. 

“Do you think we could get pets here one day?” Will asked. Hannibal smiled at him. 

“We’ll be here long enough that it's possible. We can go to the shelter and check it out, if you want to,” Hannibal said and Will’s eyes lit up. Hannibal couldn’t help but admire how beautiful Will looked when he was happy. 

“Make it a date,” Will joked and smiled brightly at him. Hannibal chuckled softly and nodded. He knew Will probably didn’t understand how much Hannibal wished Will meant an actual date rather than just joking around. 

“Let’s go then,” Hannibal said and Will nodded. The pair ended up heading to the shelter an hour later since they both needed to eat and then get ready to go out. Their time at the shelter mostly consisted of Will talking to all the dogs. Hannibal smiled as he watched Will. It was nice to see him happy. They found a dog and a cat who were cuddled together and Will instantly fell in love with both animals. They took the animals home after some time with them. Hannibal was fond of the animals and he was glad that they brought happiness to Will. They picked up all their supplies before going home with the animals. Thankfully him and Will had been getting along the whole day. There had been little touches and Will was initiating touch between them. Maybe things were going back to normal. Hannibal hoped things were looking up. 

As the days passed, They seemed to keep getting closer and communicating more and more. They were spending more time together. Will didn’t flinch at every single one of Hannibal’s touches anymore. Now they were working together as they cooked in their kitchen. Hannibal was cooking the meat as Will chopped up vegetables and seasoned them. They worked in comfortable silence as the animals slept in the other room. Will put the vegetables in the pan and gently placed a hand on Hannibal’s shoulder. Hannibal turned to look at him. 

“Hey, thank you for being patient with me,” Will whispered before pulling Hannibal into a hug. 

“Of course Will. You needed time and I respect that,” Hannibal said, kissing the top of Will’s head. He hadn;t realized he had done it until after it had been done. Will felt his face heat up and buried it in Hannibal’s chest. Hannibal wrapped his arms around Will. 

They held onto each other for about a minute. Hannibal was still shocked that Will had initiated a hug. He was also shocked that Will didn’t pull away after Hannibal had kissed the top of Will’s head. Hannibal was glad Will was now allowing intimate moments to be shared between them, without immediately pushing Hannibal away after. 

Soon enough, hugs became more normal, One night though, Will came into Hannibal’s room late at night, Hannibal was still awake, so Will didn’t need to wake him. Will looked shaken up and Hannibal sat up when Will walked in. 

“Sorry, I had a nightmare and I wanted to see if you were awake,” Will whispered. 

“Come here,” Hannibal said, opening his arms so Will could crawl into his arms and he could hold him. Will curled up against Hannibal’s chest and laid his head on Hannibal’s shoulder,” 

“Why are you still up?” Will asked quietly. Hannibal reached a hand up to play with Will’s hair but hesitated and put his hand back on Will’s back. 

“Couldn’t sleep. Do you wanna talk about your nightmare?” Hannibal asked and Will shook his head. Hannibal lifted his hand and ran a hand through Will’s hair. 

“Can I stay with you?” Will asked quietly into his shoulder. 

“Of course,” Hannibal laid back, pulling Will with him. Will laid his head on Hannibal’s chest. He gently ran a hand through Will’s unruly curls. Will sighed softly and closed his eyes. 

“Try and get some sleep, l-” Hannibal stopped himself before he could call Will love. He didn’t need Will to start pushing him away again just after he got him back. Will didn’t seem to notice, he just cuddled up to Hannibal. 

“If I have another nightmare, I may wake you. I also sweat a lot when I have nightmares. Sorry,” Will mumbled. 

“It’s fine Will,” Hannibal whispered into Will’s hair. 

The pair must have fallen asleep at one point because Hannibal woke to a sleeping Will in his arms. Will looked so peaceful in his sleep, he probably wasn’t dreaming or if he was it was probably a good dream. Hannibal wished that he could wake up to Will in his arms every morning. He loved having him close and being able to hold him. He wanted to be able to kiss him and comfort him without worrying that Will would push him away after. 

Will opened his eyes a minute later, he looked up at Hannibal. Will pulled away from Hannibal slightly, looking away from his to hide the redness spreading over his cheeks. Hannibal sat up a bit and Will did as well. 

“Good morning, sorry I fell asleep on you,” Will said before chuckling nervously. Hannibal let out a soft chuckle. 

“Good morning and it’s fine, if i remember correctly I told you to get some sleep,” Hannibal said jokingly and Will nudged him in the shoulder. Will moved off the bed and sighed. 

“I should go let Cooper out,” Will said quietly before leaving the room. Hannibal sighed and headed down to the kitchen. He hoped that sharing a bed for the night didn’t make Will want to pull away. Hannibal started breakfast as he heard Will leave with the dog.

By the time breakfast was done, Will and Cooper had returned from their walk. Will let Cooper off his leash before walking into the kitchen. 

“Breakfast smells amazing as always,” Will said, getting himself a glass of water. Hannibal smiled as he plated their food. 

“Thank you,” 

“Thank you for letting me stay with you last night,” Will said, walking to his side. Hannibal turned to him. 

“I care about you, Will. You’re always welcome to come to me for anything,” 

“I know but I still feel like a burden when I do. Old habits,” 

“You’re not a burden, you never will be, not to me,” Hannibal said, cupping Will’s cheek gently. Will flinched slightly but gave him an apologetic look. Will sighed softly and looked into Hannibal’s eyes. 

“Thank you Hannibal,” He said quietly. His eyes flicked to Hannibal’s lips and he hoped Hannibal didn’t notice. Hannibal pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Will’s head before pulling away from him. Will sighed again and grabbed his plate of food before heading towards their table. 

The pair ate in silence before going their separate ways for the day. Will ended up taking the dog out towards the stream they lived by while Hannibal headed to the nearby town to get some groceries. Hannibal had noticed Will’s eyes flick to his lips but he thought that Will was possibly just nervous. He sighed and went about his shopping, trying not to think about Will. 

.

When Will came home, Hannibal wasn’t home yet so Will went upstairs to take a shower. He thought about earlier that morning. He really had wanted to kiss Hannibal but when Hannibal had pulled away from him, Will figured that Hannibal didn’t feel the same. He knew Bedelia had told him that Hannibal was in love with him but he didn’t really trust her word and he would rather hear it from Hannibal. Will sighed as he got into the shower. He just wished he had the courage to tell Hannibal how he felt and not have the fear of possible rejection. 

Will finished up his shower and got dressed. Maybe he should just go for it. If Hannibal rejected him, he could always just lie and say he got caught up in the moment. If Hannibal didn’t reject him, neither of them would have to hide their feelings anymore. Will sighed and headed downstairs to find Hannibal putting groceries up. 

“Do you want help with dinner?” Will asked, walking over to him. 

“Sure, the recipe is the one bookmarked over there,” Hannibal said and pointed towards the recipe book by the stove. Will walked over and read the recipe. He was still debating whether or not he should take a chance and kiss him and see what happens. 

The pair cooked in silence and Will continued with his internal debate. He wanted to go for it. He had wanted to kiss Hannibal before they went over the cliff. He stopped himself then by burying his face in Hannibal’s chest. Fuck it, Will thought. He turned to look at Hannibal, he was going to do this. If Hannibal rejected him, they could just pretend nothing had happened. Will leaned against the kitchen counter and watched Hannibal cook. When Hannibal turned to look at him, Will smiled at him. A few seconds later, Hannibal walked over to him. Will grabbed his arm gently and Hannibal stopped in front of him.

“Everything okay?” Hannibal asked him quietly. Will nodded and pulled him into a hug. He was shaking a bit due to being nervous . Hannibal wrapped his arms around him. Will pulled back slightly and looked up at him. Will leaned up to press their lips together. Hannibal froze, not responding to the kiss from shock. Shit, shit, shit, he may have just fucked everything up. Will pulled back slowly. 

“Shit, Sorry,” Will mumbled, moving back from Hannibal. Hannibal looked at him with wide eyes and pulled him back. Hannibal kissed him again. Will smiled against his lips and pulled him closer. Hannibal pulled back after about thirty seconds. Will pressed their foreheads together and closed his eyes. 

“Sorry, I was just shocked that's why I froze,” Hannibal whispered.

“I freaked out, I thought you froze cause you were going to reject me,” 

“No no, I’ve wanted to kiss you for years,” Hannibal admitted quietly. 

“Then why haven’t you?” Will asked jokingly, opening his eyes and pulling back slightly to look at Hannibal. 

“Scared you wouldn’t respond well. Thought I would let you be the one to make the first move,” 

“What if i never made the first move?”

“I would’ve been okay with just staying your friend, if that’s what you wanted,” 

“Well, I’m glad I talked myself into making the first move,” Will said and kissed Hannibal again. Hannibal responded almost instantly, tangling a hand in Will’s curls. Will let out a quiet moan against Hannibal’s lips. The timer on the oven beeped and they pulled apart slowly. Will smiled as he watched Hannibal. 

They had worked through their issues. They weren’t the same people they were when they first met. They had a new life and would face new challenges but they always had each other and that’s all that mattered. The intimacy they shared on the cliff had been a promise. A promise to stay with the other, to let themselves fall in love with each other. To be happy together. They were fulfilling that promise now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> named after animal by troye sivan. this chapter took forever omg

**Author's Note:**

> title of oneshot is from 10/10 by troye sivan. leave comments and kudos if you'd like.


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